Max15Degrees Top Seven April Fool's Jokes

1. Light Supper. Go to the bulk food section of your local supermarket and put one grain of each item into separate bags. Don't label the bags and look blankly at the cashier when asked what they are. Pay only with pennies.

2. Gardener's Revenge. Modify squirrel nut caches by scooping out the nutmeat and replacing it with a concoction of Thai peppers and pop rocks. Re-bury and cover with fresh, fragile pansy starts. Sit back and laugh uproariously at the evil squirrel as he finally gets his due. Hide quickly before he retaliates.

3. Broken Window. Roll down the passenger window of your friend's car. Shatter a bunch of clear glass bottles on the ground below the door. (Tip: If the doors are locked, just break the driver's side window to get in.)

4. Political Insane Asylum. Have your dad and his political cronies name you President of a major superpower in blatant disregard of the popular vote. Remember not to call "April Fool's!" until the end of your term of office.

5. Oops. Steal your neighbor's dog and shave it. Obtain some fresh roadkill and decorate it with the fur you got from the dog. Tell your neighbor you may have accidentally backed over their pet. (Optional: When they stop crying, smack your lips and ask to borrow their barbeque grill. Also Optional: Eventually give the dog back—if they don't give you the grill, that is.)

6. Visit from Ashcroft. Run around throwing sheets over all of the less attractive people in your office. When they demand an explanation, tell them that John Ashcroft is coming to visit and he thinks ugliness is a sign of the devil.

7. Suicide Bomber. Run into a restaurant in Israel, open your overcoat to reveal many pounds of explosives strapped to your body, scream "Jihad! Jihad!", and pull the ripcord, setting off all of the party poppers and streamers that were concealed in the fake explosives. Enjoy a good laugh with everybody.