Life ain't fair. Deal with it.

Thursday, October 12, 2000 [by:SpaceBass]

I don't suppose you've ever checked out AdCritic.com. I bet an electronic archive of the ads they post will give archaeological anthropologists of the future a proverbial field day, even though those bigshot space scientists will no longer have any inkling whatsover as to what, exactly, a field day is. Stupid anthropologists.

Unrelatedly, I am quite disheartened to report that, while I wasn't looking, the squirrel down the street multiplied himself by two. Either that, or he managed to set up a teleportation device and was just fucking with me. I cannot discount either possibility, nor ignore the import of either revelation. I believe one of two things may happen very soon: 1) the squirrel will make his move towards world domination, using his teleportation devices to move squirrel troops directly into the major military and political strongholds throughout the free world; or, b) the squirrel will continue having squirrel sex, eventually multiplying himself by three, four, maybe even five.

Either possibility is too horrible to contemplate overlong. I must rest now, and tackle this problem anew upon the morn. I shall not allow the cursed headaches to return; such a burdened brain could not plan a sound defense.

America, I am at thy back. Um, America? Please discontinue bending over, thanks.