Life ain't fair. Deal with it.

Monday, April 24, 2000 [by:SpaceBass]

Why do kids today use guns when they should be just beating the hell out of each other like we did when we were kids?  I don't think it's the kids.  It's the squirrels.  Seriously, I know from TV that whenever trouble is afoot, it's always the kids who find out the truth first.  I'm sayin' them squirrels are startin' to test their weaponry in preparation for some sort of bloody revolutionary coup that begins at the rocky road ice cream factory where the only thing our guys'll have with which to defend themselves is the marshmallow and the chocolate because lord knows the nuts won't do 'em any good.  I'm sayin' them squirrels got caught practicin', so the squirrels had to shoot them meddlin' kids and then frame 'em for it to throw us off the trail.  I'm sayin' it's only a matter of time before them squirrels think they're ready.  There's only one thing we can do.