Life ain't fair. Deal with it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2000 [by:SpaceBass]

Sometimes the neighbor cat tells me interesting things, like, "Hey, Space, there's a mouse over here under my paw, no wait, there it goes...okay, under my paw again, Space!" and, "I'm terribly sorry but I very recently shat where you've just now placed your foot."  However, that's much better than the dog that used to live behind me, whose entire repertoire consisted of, "Get away from your yard, Mr. SpaceBass, because it borders upon my yard!  Get!  Get!  Get!  Get!!  ...Now, get!!!"  Most of the neighborhood cats just want to say, "No, it itches here!  Oh, dammit, get the hell away from me!  What's wrong with you, you sorry bastard!  Now, do it right!  I love you.  Dammit that's wrong again!"  One of the really fat ones says, "Grunt!" a lot.  Also, "Wheeze."  But that damn squirrel, man, he just sits and he stares at me with his beady little squirrel eyes.