Life ain't fair. Deal with it.

Friday, November 10, 2000 [by:SpaceBass]

Don't be stickin' your finger in your ear. Lemme just tell you, it starts out as a simple scratch, a gentle dig, but soon you're jammin' that thing in there as far as you can, trying to excavate for some sort of ill-concieved prize. Oh sure, you're happy as a three-legged soccer player, rooting around, scratching that itch - for a while. Then your finger tip breaks off, slips down your ear canal into your brain, swims around inside your noggin for a few weeks until it brushes up against just the wrong spot (which tickles like mad by the way, with NO DAMN WAY TO SCRATCH INSIDE YOUR HEAD), and causes your brain to explode, showering the immediate area with a spray of sparks, leaving nothing but a slowly toppling, headless body and a cloud of thick, oily, black (or possibly mauve) smoke. IT CAN HAPPEN. I LOST A FRIEND THAT WAY. EXCEPT IT WASN'T HIS FINGER AND THE GRENADE MIGHT HAVE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

Regardless, KNOCK IT OFF!